Mayo
by Rhyo

"Shit, Jim, what have we got in here to use for lube?"

"There's no lube in the truck, Sandburg."

"I know, give me the mayo packet from the Wonderburger bag."

"You're not using artificial mayonnaise for this."

"I gotta use something, Jim, or it will really hurt. Besides, it's a better use for it than actually eating it."

"Sandburg..."

"Just shut up and open up the packet. Good. Okay, now, put it on my fingers. Yeah, that's it, now, if I just...."

"Be careful, will you? It'll be okay, Sweetheart."

"Almost, just a little further, almost there, yeah... Ah HA! Got it! Man, that hurt!'

"So, Boy Genius, did you learn a lesson here?"

"Yeah, yeah, okay, I didn't mean to drop my lucky pen down the heater vent. It's a good thing my hand fit, man, I need that lucky pen."

"You got fake mayo inside the heater vents. Do you have any idea how bad that's going to smell?"

"Jeez, Jim, I'll clean it out, get a grip. It's just a truck."

"Don't listen to him, Sweetheart."

(pause)

"You know, maybe we should carry lube in the truck. We could make these stakeouts go by a lot faster...."

The End

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