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Secrets and Vices
by
Terri
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Thanks again to Alex, and my betas at Sentinel Workshop, Sharakh, Starwatcher, Kate and Lyn. ~*~*~*~

Eyes burning in the shady room, Blair leaned forward slightly, letting damp curls uncover a white neck. In the flickering candlelight he looked all smooth skin and dark hair, contrasts that Sentinel touch just screamed to experience. Moving onto his knees in one graceful movement, Jim leaned over and lightly brushed his lips over Blair's heated skin. He could smell the tang of sweat, and his mouth began to water at the sensory treat to come.

Closer still… he dipped his head and ran his tongue in one long smooth stroke up Blair's spine. Taste exploded in his mouth-- sweat, musk, a faint tang of the red wine they'd shared for dinner, a combination that made him as hard as stone. Tasting Blair was one of Jim's favourite things ever; night after night he would suck him, and run his tongue over his whole body-- licking at nipples, cock and balls-- and spend hour upon hour rimming, until Blair lay in a twitching huddle begging Jim to just take him.

A bag lay on the bed, old, and musty smelling. Jim could feel his attention being pulled to that bag, needing to know what was inside. He´d waited so long for this; the hours since breakfast stretching, until each seemed to last a day.

Sensing Jim´s curiosity, Blair gently pulled away from Jim, smiling at his partner´s moan of disappointment. Scooting up the bed he grabbed the bag, and patted a place next to him, ready to move the activities to the next level.

The two men had waited long enough.

                                                  The Night Before.

Jim loved everything about Blair-- his taste, his smell, the texture of his body. He wanted to try it all, and he had on many occasions. Nights full of intense sex, hard rough sex, that bruised and left both men panting and yearning for more.

He'd kept himself back till now. More than anything else Jim feared loss of control. Then last night--a night to remember-- Blair had turned to him, in the moonlight, and in a soft voice explained what an idiot Jim was. Jim knew that scene would be branded, in his heart and mind, for eternity. Blair had sat next to him in their bed, running gentle fingers through Jim's hair. His face was luminous in moonlight that streamed through the loft skylights. He'd looked serene and content, so his next words had been a shock. Jim doubted that he could ever forget what had been said.

"I love you so much. You know that. I love what we do, how we do it, and when we do it. It's just, sometimes I know you want to let go, and that's okay, really it is." Seeing that Jim was about to speak Blair had placed a finger over his lips, silencing any response. "Let me finish here. You can let go, Jim, I'm not a kid, I can take it. I trust you implicitly not to go too far. I mightn't be as strong as you, but that doesn't mean I'm weak. Just let it go, Jim."

That was all it took. As those soft words shattered the barriers that kept back his primal need, he'd scooped Blair into his arms and thrown him hard on the bed. He flung himself on that luscious body and began to explore, nipping and biting at exposed skin. Jim's senses whirled out of control as he sucked hard, causing marks that would remain for days. Blair lay compliant, a sensual feast, as Jim nipped at his collarbone, delivering tiny bites designed to sting and torment.

Pulling Blair close against his body, Jim grabbed Blair's hand, drawing it to his own mouth. Slowly he sucked each digit, tonguing each finger in turn. This simple act had Blair moaning, pressing his sweat-slicked body hard against Jim. Every inch of skin seemed to burn like a brand, hot as fire.

Leaving Blair's fingers, Jim opened his eyes and drank in the sight before him. Blair was flushed with desire, candlelight highlighting the sweat-soaked planes of his body. His eyes were closed, eyelashes dark and spiky. Blair kept his fingers on Jim's face, stroking gently across his cheekbones.

Feeling the flame of longing ignite further, Jim ran his hands down Blair's back, scratching the skin with his nails. Trailing his hands down further, Jim slid fingers over the cleft of Blair's ass and then down under his balls, finishing by lightly grasping the heavy cock that lay tight against the bed. It was while stroking Blair´s cock that he noticed that his nails had broken the skin on Blair's back at certain points, and thin streams of blood had started to trickle and intermingle with the sweat. The sight transfixed Jim, making him pause as the rational side of him was swept away by pure need and passion.

Moving his hands, he ignored Blair's keening noise and run delicate fingers through the bright red fluid, gathering some on the end of his fingers. He watched as the blood caught the candlelight, tiny beads of light reflecting off the shiny surface. It was beautiful, transfixing him completely. The smell of iron attacked his nose, making him bring his fingers closer to his face, until at last a tentative tongue lapped and tasted the fluid. That first taste of blood had inflamed all his senses; he wanted more, needed more.

An idea sparking in his mind, Jim reached for Blair's hips, pulling him to his knees in one swift movement. They were both kneeling on Jim's bed, naked and panting with need, Jim snug against Blair, his rigid cock jammed in the small of his partner's back.

He´d held Blair tight against him as he'd sucked at the small scratch marks on his neck and shoulders, forcing more blood to ooze out. He licked and tasted, urged on by Blair's moans and harsh panting. As he tasted more he became wilder, starting to bite into available skin. At that point he could have stopped-- would have stopped if Blair had said no; instead he was urged on by Blair's frantic yeses, to bite harder, suck harder. It seemed that as much as he loved the taste and smell of blood, Blair loved the sweet pain of giving it.

The rough play gave each man one of the best orgasms of his life. Both screamed with pleasure as Jim bit hard into Blair's shoulder, until red streaked both their bodies. Gasping harshly, Jim lowered Blair back to the bed, then lay next to him, too sated to move an inch. He fell asleep sticky and reeking of come and blood-- an intoxicating mix, with the power to addict and bewitch.

When morning came Jim was deeply ashamed. Last night, he'd listened to Blair and given him all that he could take. Yet now, as the sun shone on his lover's body, long-held doubts and fears crashed into his mind. Blair was covered in come and blood; he even had bloody marks on his face from where Jim had kissed him. Curled as he was on his side, Jim could see the bloody lines that tracked down his back, as well as the many bites and deep bruises that covered the length of his body. Jim had gone too far, he knew that; no one would get off on being abused in that way. Blair had obviously not known what he was releasing when he told Jim to let himself go.

All his life Jim had fought against his attraction to blood play. It wasn't the blood itself that called him so; it was the context in which he tasted it, the sex and byplay that attracted him so strongly.  He'd fought that attraction with all his strength, until last night, and now, look what he´d done.

Jim felt a crushing guilt descend. He might as well go and turn himself in at the station now for partner abuse; that's all he deserved for treating Blair like that.

Unable to face the sight of Blair covered in livid bites, scratches, and bruises; Jim bolted from their bed to the bathroom.  Then locked the door behind him, leaving Blair confused and alone in the big bed where he'd just had the best sex of his life.

"Jim man, open the door!"

The sound of Blair's voice made Jim feel worse; how could he have done that to the person that he loved so much? He was sick, that's all there was to it.

"Come on, I know you're in there, just come out already…please…Look, I think I know what's going on here. You think that you've taken advantage and hurt me. Well you haven't, and to be honest I'm a little offended that you think that I'm unable to say no to you. I'm not some kind of weakling Jim, I can take care of myself."

Blair's words brought no comfort to Jim. Standing at the sink he stared at himself in the mirror, seeing only the face of an abuser. Not the white-faced man whose worst fears had just come crashing down. He felt like smashing his fist into the reflection that mocked him. Anger and depression at his weakness warred in his mind. He felt that he'd let down Blair again; what Sandburg didn't seem to realise was that it was Jim's role to look after Blair. Last night he'd failed, losing against the one person he had no hope of defeating--- himself. He had simply added to the long list of people that had hurt his partner.

*Yeah, like when Lash got you*…

"…and don't you be thinking about Lash, that's completely different from this. Don't you get it, you idiot? I like rough sex.  Being dominated by someone is the stuff of my dreams-- god damnit, Jim, last night was the best of my life!"

Hope flared a little as Jim heard Blair's shout. His lover sounded exasperated and more than a little angry; maybe he wasn't a victim after all. Jim had to be sure though, before he let that spark of hope ignite.

"So you're trying to tell me you like being mauled and having your blood sucked? My God, Sandburg, you look like you've been in a dog fight."  

What sounded suspiciously like a fist crashed against the bathroom door, followed by a series of deep breaths. Jim could visualise Blair calming himself down before unleashing the heavy artillery. Blair sounded like he had an argument to blow Jim's objections from the water, and was preparing to use it.

The next words came so softly that Jim had to increase his hearing a notch to hear them.
    
"Look Jim, man, this is so awkward talking about this shit through a closed door; but hey, if you want to do it this way then who am I to stop you? Yes, I do love being 'mauled' as you so eloquently put it. Do you know about the bandana code?

Jim jerked his head towards the door as he heard Blair's calm words. He would have never wagered on his roommate participating in the BDSM lifestyle. It looked like there were hidden depths to Sandburg that he'd never even scratched.

“Well, you probably do, having worked Vice and all. If I wore a bandana it would be maroon, get that? I like to get cut. I like the hardcore stuff, and I love and trust you enough to do it with you. I'm just sorry that you can't seem to deal with it."

Throwing open the door, Jim stood face to face with Sandburg, then grabbing Blair's wrists, he pulled them up against his chest, effectively trapping his lover.

"You'd wear maroon? Why the fuck didn't you tell me that?"

"Oh yeah, right, I'd just drop it into conversation. 'Hey Jim what's for supper and guess what? I get off on playing with knives'."

"Why not Sandburg? You tell me to talk about personal stuff all the time."

Jim was mad; he'd spent time agonising over something that wasn't even a problem. His whole view about Blair had rocked on its axis, and he wasn't sure that he liked it. It seemed that Sandburg had a whole other side to him that he'd never disclosed-- a side as wild as anything that Jim craved.

Tightening his hold on Blair's wrists, Jim glared, challenging his partner to make him understand why he'd kept something so important hidden. He expected Blair to be upset, maybe mad; instead he saw scorn and disappointment directed at him.

"This is a bit different, don't you think? Anyway, it's the last you'll hear about it from me; you're obviously just a vanilla guy."

Jim's eyes narrowed at that comment, and a small smile appeared on his face. He looked dangerous and unpredictable, even standing naked in the bathroom door. Jim watched as Blair shifted slightly, startled by the feral tone of Jim´s voice.

"You think I'm vanilla?"

Shifting forward, he propelled them across the loft floor until Blair's bare ass hit the edge of the kitchen table. Now when he looked at Blair all he could see was desire in his eyes. It seemed that Sandburg was telling the truth about wanting the rough stuff. It was as if the last barrier had been broken. Blair wanted it hard, Jim would give it to him.

"If I'm so vanilla, you tell me why I'm about to take you across the kitchen table, you little slut. Then tell me why tonight-- after I get the necessary supplies-- we're going to see just how hard-core you can go. You like to play with knives? Let me tell you something-- I'm an expert with knives.

Suddenly, hands that had been gripping Blair's shoulders dropped down to his groin. Jim cupped Blair's erection while grinding his own crotch against any available skin. Jim was wild, lust controlling every movement. His eyes gleamed and his mouth curled into a snarl as he stared down at Blair.

" I can feel you like that idea. You do like to be dominated, don't you? You're such a perfect whore. Beautiful, sexy and all mine. You'd better believe that, Blair. You belong to me now.  I've tasted your blood and no one will get close enough to do that again, do you understand?"

Blair craned his neck so he could look at Jim's face. Both men were consumed with desire but both understood that this was a defining moment. Jim had pledged ownership, and now, with his next words, Blair could bind them together for the future.

"I understand. I don't want anyone else-- I love you, and if you keep on doing that I'll never want to leave anyway."

"That's good, Sandburg. Just keep that in mind, because I'll never let you leave. You belong to me, no one else. You submit to me and that's it, we're tied together for good. So choose, my pretty slut."

Lust may have fuelled Jim's words, but he meant every one. If Blair took this last step, showing his complete trust by submitting to Jim, he would be making a commitment stronger than any words.

Jim could feel Blair trembling underneath him, quivering as the harsh words were thrown at him.  Fearing he'd gone too far, he glanced at Blair's face and saw only an expression of trust and love. Blair's eyes were closed, head falling back letting his hair hang free. His full lips were curled into a contented smile as he absorbed Jim's claim of ownership.

Opening his eyes as Jim stopped talking, Blair gave his consent in three short words.

"Do it Jim."

It was all the permission Jim needed.

With a thrust of his hips, Jim pushed Blair up tight against the table, then bent and hooked his hands under both of his knees. With one swift movement, Blair was placed onto the table with both legs high on either side of Jim's body. Both men were breathing harshly as they stared into each other's eyes, cocks pressed hard against each other.

"So my little slut, you like it hard do you? You like it dangerous and unpredictable? Is this unpredictable enough for you? Talking you hard and fast on the kitchen table. I'm not vanilla. Nowhere near; are you brave enough to see what I can deal out? Are you willing to take what I give?

Jim's eyes seemed to gleam with need as he appraised the panting man below him. Blair lay compliant, his chest heaving with each intake of breath, his hands clenched against Jim's chest.

"Jim…please, just take me now, don't make me beg man. I can take what you give, I want it hard, need it hard…please Jim fuck me now."


"You're such a whore; look at you-- begging me to fuck you. Maybe I should wait, what do you think? Let you beg and plead longer. You're such a hot sight, lying there, legs spread; maybe I'll wait 'till tonight when we have our little play session? Shall we do that?"

Blair's head dropped back when Jim said that. His eyes seemed to fill with despair, as he looked up at Jim's face. Jim could feel him quiver under him, Blair's whole body vibrating with need. Smirking as he took in the effect of his words, Jim catalogued every aspect of the man under him- the harsh breathing, heaving chest, the sweat that trickled down Blair's chest to pool in the hollows of his hips. Sandburg looked like a man driven to desperation, as he grasped Jim's forearm in a death grip. Knuckles white with strain.

"God, Jim don't do this to me, I need you now…please."

Looking down at Blair, Jim couldn't stop his groan of pleasure at the wantonness of the man below him. Blair lay propped on his elbows, his eyes wild and dark with desire. He was panting harshly, mouth open in invitation. Despite wanting nothing more than to capture that mouth and give in to need, Jim decided a little torture was in order. Seeing Blair so frenzied and desperate was giving him one of the best hard-ons of his life, and he intended to savour this moment for as long as possible.

"I can see that you need me, you just love begging for it, don't you? You want me to take you hard up the ass, pound into you until you beg for mercy. You want to be fucked until you scream, and you shoot all over this table. Is that it, slut?"

"Yes, god, yes, do me now, please, Jim."

Hearing the hitch in Blair's plea Jim decided that he'd teased enough.  Scanning the room he looked for something that could be used as lube. He could run and get the tube that was stashed in the kitchen drawer, but then again if he simply stretched his arm a little he could reach something that was just as good without having to move at all.

"God, hurry, Jim, I'm dying here, man."

"You just can't wait to have my cock up your ass, can you, slut?"

Stretching his arm, Jim snagged the butter dish that was on a nearby counter. Leering, he scooped a handful then clenched his fist, feeling butter forcing itself through his fingers. Inching away from Blair a little he stroked his slippery hand over his own cock. The sensation threatened to overwhelm him as he felt the butter cling, then melt onto his heated skin. Realising that he was about to come just from stroking himself, Jim turned his attention back to Blair, who was squirming on the tabletop.

"If only your students could see you now-- look at you, all hot and impatient for sex. What would they think of their teacher if they saw you begging to be fucked? I don't think that they would respect a whore for a teacher, someone that likes it hard and rough."

The harsh words seemed to inflame Blair more, making him wild in his movements as he tried to reach for his own cock. He was going insane; Jim was going to kill him, driving him wild and giving him no relief. There was no way that he could ever call Jim vanilla after this session-- he was obviously a master tormentor, driving him to the brink and leaving him there, panting and needy. He needed to come so bad, but Jim wasn't even touching him anymore, leaving him cresting on the verge of orgasm. He had known that awakening Jim's wild side would be interesting, but this was beyond his dreams. Now if only the sadistic bastard would *do* something before he lost his mind.

Jim could feel Blair squirm below him, franticly thrusting up against Jim´s body, desperate for relief. Rubbing his slippery hand slowly up and down his own cock, Jim bit back a moan, muffling the sound by burying his face in Blair´s neck. Pulling back Jim captured Blair´s mouth in a deep kiss, a hard, brutal kiss that left Blair breathless and asking for more. Still fisting himself Jim pulled back, trailing wet kisses along Blair´s stomach, leaving his partner incoherent, head back with eyes full of desire.

Deciding that he was lubed enough and knowing that Blair would still be relaxed and loose from the night before, Jim leaned forward and linked his hands behind Blair's back. Stopping a second, he ran his fingers over sweat-slicked skin, feeling the tremors that ran through the heated body. Then with a swift movement he pulled back until once again Blair sat at the edge of the table, still with his legs hooked behind Jim.

Adjusting his grip he shifted his hands downward then stood upright in one smooth movement. Blair was now carried at waist level, gripping with his knees. Confusion was apparent in his eyes as Jim began to move backwards. . Surely after all this they weren't going to take this back upstairs? That would dent his new opinion of Jim's spontaneity. But no, it seemed that he had something that he needed to move for, something Jim knew they would both love. Staggering slightly as he walked across the room, Jim smirked as he reached his goal.

"OH FUCK!"

. In a move designed to blow Blair's mind, Jim sat on a hard dining chair then positioned his cock under Blair's ass and let go, letting body weight impale him onto the hard organ. Blair´s scream of pleasure was immediate, the erotic sound adding to Jim´s own pleasure. The mix was intense, throwing him over the crest that he'd ridden for so long The sensation was exquisite, the feeling of Blair´s ass griping him, driving him into an immediate climax. The brutal thrust was everything he wanted and more. Back arching, he rode the waves of feeling that assaulted his body, his hands gripping Blair´s shoulders in bruising spasms as Jim cried his own release.  Forcing his head up to watch his lover, Jim saw Blair´s head was thrown back, neck muscles taut with strain, sweat beading his body as hands grasped his hips. No sounds left his lips, as the crescendo of pleasure reached new heights. It was a moment that Jim knew he'd never forget as with that one thrust he experienced one of the most intense orgasms of his life.

Realising that he was being watched, Jim looked at the intent blue eyes gazing at him. Relishing the amount of love that lay in their depths, he smiled as he reached to pull Blair close to him. He loved this time after sex, time to regroup and relax before returning to practical matters such as cleaning up. Holding Blair after all the frantic fucking of minutes before was also a pleasure, feeling his body pliant and relaxed, sprawled against Jim´s broad chest.

Standing slowly, Jim pulled Blair up with him, separating them with care. Looking down at the flushed face of his lover, he could hardly believe what they had done. He loved Blair with all his being, loved the hard realities of sex, but most of all he loved the aftermath with a warm body snuggled against him. He'd surprised himself today-- taking Blair on the table and using the dirty talk had been erotic in the extreme; he was glad that he'd done it, and savagely pushed the ideas of bleaching the table top into the back of his mind for now.

What he needed to do was come down off the high he and Blair had achieved. He needed to cuddle that warm body to him, stroke the sweat-damp hair, sprinkle chaste kisses along available skin, re-connect with Blair his lover and return the ‘slut´ back into the fantasy role box in his head.

Steering them both toward the couch, he settled them into the soft cushions and pulled the afghan over the two of them. Blair was warm and heavy in his arms, drifting between the world of sleep and awareness. It had only been a brief hour since they woke, but somehow it seemed that a nap was needed. Allowing his body to relax, Jim traced a gentle hand over Blair's jaw before drifting into a rejuvenating sleep, his partner following minutes later.

*********************************************************************

"That was great man, thanks."

Jim woke to the sight of Blair looking at him through sleep-fogged eyes, hair stuck up in all directions, with the slightly cloying scent of butter surrounding him. The vision made his heart jump-- Blair was so gorgeous like that. He could feel his cock stir slightly but pushed the impulse down. There were things that needed to be discussed and if he didn't start that conversation now he never would.

"No problems, Chief; we do have to talk though."

"Whoa, Jim Ellison wanting to talk. What's the occasion?"

Jim began fussing with the afghan as he tried to think of the words he needed to say. Blair had surprised him last night, and he'd loved the scene that they'd just played. Yet Jim needed to know that's all it was, a scene, not something that Blair relied on. Arranging the blanket just so on the back of the sofa, Jim found it easier to start the conversation while looking away from Blair.

"Yeah, you're a funny guy all right…seriously, I do need to ask…"

"You want to know about just now, right? Do I always want that kind of sex-- and I have to say Jim, you're magnificent at that kind of sex-- not that it's a kind really, just what I like personally. In fact some people say…"

Turning to look Blair in the eyes, Jim placed a hand on his arm, stopping him mid flow. Jim loved to hear Blair talk, and would usually let him talk his way through any subject. Tonight though, Jim needed to know about *Blair*, not some ancient tribe. He needed answers, and Blair would have to understand that.

"Wait, I'm not interested in what other people think, I want to know about what you think.’ Jim stroked a hand down Blair's leg, flashing a reassuring smile. "I do have questions, and you will answer them, but I think we'd better move before we glue together."

"Yeah, man, I suppose so."

Groaning slightly, Blair stood slowly. The adrenalin rush of the last hour had worn off, reminding him that he still had numerous cuts, bites and bruises from the night before that needed treating, on top of his aching ass muscles.

"Come into the bathroom. We'll talk as I dress those scratches, after we get a shower. We both look pretty disgusting."

Casting a quick glance at Blair, Jim walked towards the bathroom. He could tell that Blair was hurting, and guilt had begun to coil round him again. Jim knew now that hard sex was what they both wanted. Knew that Blair was content and totally unrepentant at what they'd done. The problem was that he'd hurt Blair, something that was totally alien to his protective nature.

"Right, right, I'm behind you."

Pushing the bathroom door open Jim started the shower running then turned to watch Blair. His lover looked like he'd survived a horrific assault, scratched, bruised and covered in streaks of dried blood. Yet his expression was one of tranquility and satisfaction.

The two were so different that Jim had trouble taking it in. Blair was obviously happy, yet looked so bad. Adjusting the temperature he listened as Blair walked round the small room, brushing against him to reach the shower. Feeling a hand ghost past his ass Jim looked into the smiling eyes of Blair. Nowhere could Jim see any censure in that gaze. Blair was undoubtedly happy, a blissful smile backing up that conclusion. Seeing that smile, Jim could feel the last wisp of guilt dissipate, leaving only satisfaction that at last everything was open between them.

"The water's fine; jump in and get clean, then I'll get some antiseptic on you."

Firstly sticking a wary hand under the stream of water, Blair began to climb into the tub, sighing as the warm water hit his body,

"What about you? No offence or anything but you *really* need a shower as well."

Jim smiled as he watched Blair in the shower. Blair was talking with his eyes shut, head thrown back, letting the water cascade over his chest.

"Don't worry, I'll get in in a minute, I'll just get some clothes then I'll join you."

Jim could hardly tear himself away from the bathroom, even for the minute it would take to gather clothes. Especially when Blair opened his eyes, and smiled, showing his approval of the plan.

"Now that is one good idea."

"Yeah, well, that's why I'm the brain in this operation."

With a smirk Jim went to collect some clothes, laughing even more at Blair's soft comment about delusional sentinels. It took only minutes to collect outfits for both men, then Jim jumped into the shower as well. The hot water was bliss on aching muscles, and Jim luxuriated in the feel of the natural sponge that Blair was soaping him with. Allowing himself only minutes to soak he ended his shower and quickly dried and dressed as his cold-blooded partner wallowed in the hot water. Jim knew that if he didn't ask Blair about the last sex session, the moment would be gone and he'd never discover what made him tick.

"Jump on out and I'll get those dressed-- and before you start, yes, they need dressing."

"Jesus, what are you now, a mind reader?"

Jim began to fold a towel, knowing that Blair would object to having his wounds looked at. It seemed that however hurt he was, Blair would find some way to object to medical treatment, minor or otherwise. It had bugged Jim for a long time until he realised that it was Blair's way to control the situation. If he could object, he couldn't be that badly hurt. Since then Jim had taken a firm but gentle stance. If he thought Blair needed treatment he would ensure that he got it.

"No, just someone that knows how that muddled thing you call a mind works. Now sit down and let me see you."

Laughing, Blair did as he was told, sitting on a soft bath towel on the toilet seat. He watched as all his small hurts were catalogued and assessed in the sentinel's mind, then smiled again as the bandaids and bandages were pushed aside until only antiseptic cream remained.

"Guess I'm going to live then."

"Not if you make cracks like that, you're not."

Running gentle fingers over damp, warm skin Jim spread cream over the worst of the scratches, his mind running over ways to start the conversation that he needed.

"Just ask Jim, I don't bite…well, not at the moment."

Shaking his head at Blair's teasing Jim turned to look him in the eyes. “I just want to know-- this rough sex thing. Is it something that you *need*, or only something that you *want* occasionally?"

Blair's face turned serious as he searched for the answers that would satisfy his partner. No one had really asked him about his desires before, so knowing what to say was difficult.

"I know that I don't *need* it rough all the time. I certainly don't want you to belittle me every time we have sex. It's just something that I like to experience sometimes, when I want to feel dominated and out of control. Blair began to fidget in place, foot flexing, the urge to pace apparent. “…I certainly wouldn't initiate something like that unless I totally trusted the other person. I trust you completely Jim, I know what we do in play will never spill over into other areas and that's important to me. The blood and knife play is the same, it's flirting with danger. Look, remember the roller coaster that I compared police life with? Well this is the same; only this time the danger is sex- based. I like the fear, it's an adrenalin rush, but you also have to know that it's only one part of me. I also love vanilla, the so-called normal stuff. I certainly don't *need* hard sex to live, but I do enjoy it, and won't make any apologies for doing so."

The answer seemed reasonable to Jim. He was glad Blair didn't need rough sex all the time. As much as they both enjoyed it, he didn't want to repeat the scene every time they made love. Smiling, he gave Blair's knee a swift pat as he continued to tidy the bathroom.

"It's okay, I understand. It's not like I want to talk to you like that all the time, that was just play acting, something we had fun doing; it's not how I see you at all. As long as we know that it's an act, we'll be fine; as far as I can see, we're normal enough "

"So that's your opinion, Dr. Ruth?"

"Yep, that's my opinion, for what it's worth. Now get some clothes on, we've a lot to do if we're staying in again tonight. That is, if you still want to?"

"Hell, yeah, I'll even change the sheets if you want."

"Ok then, chores, shopping, dinner, then mind-blowing sex. That okay?

"That, my man, is just perfect!"

Smiling at Blair, Jim stooped and picked up a pair of pants, throwing them toward his partner. "Five minutes, Sandburg, then you've got sheets to wash."

With that threat Jim started the eggs for breakfast; already anticipating the night ahead. Never would a Saturday last so long to one man.

Night was drawing in and Jim was beginning to feel jumpy, they had eaten dinner and tidied the kitchen and now he stood waiting to see how Blair would start their night. Would he still want to play hard? Or maybe he would just want the usual-- which itself was pretty damn hot and something to be excited about but fuck, he'd been thinking about their last two bouts of wild sex all day. He'd kept sporting erections that made him blush as he tried to hide them from view, both from Blair and any innocent passer-by.

He just knew that the checkout girls in the local supermarket had been laughing at him when he sprang a woody after catching a glimpse of the kitchen knives. Even the patented Ellison glare was ineffective when he was hunched over trying to hide his obvious arousal. Mortification wasn't an emotion that Jim wore well, so he thrust the shopping cart into his partner´s hands and stalked out of the shop with affronted dignity, to Blair´s great amusement.

Now here it was, time at last.  He was sure that being obsessed was somehow wrong at his age, but hell, who was complaining? Not him. He couldn't wait to see where Blair took their play tonight. He'd told his lover that he was an expert at knives and he was; but he'd never used them in a sexual context before. Just thinking about what they might do gave him a thrill. The unknown usually annoyed him, but his trust in Blair was absolute, and he couldn't wait to see what was in store.

He could hear Blair rummaging in the spare room that contained some of his old possessions, until at last a triumphant cry signaled he had hit pay-dirt.  He saw only a flash of his partner as Blair ran past him and up the loft stairs, holding a small parcel in his arms. Starting forward slightly, Jim stopped when an amused voice was heard.

"Don't you move another step man, I still have things to do here. I'll be about 2 minutes, okay?"

Suppressing his curiosity once again, Jim settled back against the counter, resisting the urge to listen to what Blair was doing in their room. Arms crossed and feet planted firmly, it took all of his will to remain still until he was summoned above by Blair´s low voiced permission.

“You can come up now, Jim.’

Strangely, now that he was allowed to move, he felt reluctant to approach the stairs. It just seemed wrong that he was entering into something that he knew he might lose control over.

"Jim!"

Hearing Blair's call, he suddenly lost all fears. This was Blair; he trusted him one hundred percent. With that he couldn´t wait, and practically ran for the stairs.

The first glance at their bedroom took his breath away. Candles lit every surface, shimmering from the floor, desk, bedside tables, giving the normally airy room an atmosphere of intimacy and magic. Blair himself reclined on the bed naked, his head propped on his hand, his hair loose, the reddish highlights catching the candlelight. He looked totally edible, with a joyful grin that-- amazingly-- widened further when he saw Jim's reaction.

"You like?"

"I love it. Do you know how good you look like that?"

"No, I don't, so why don't you get comfortable, then you can tell me."

"Whatever you say, Chief,"

With a few quick movements he removed pants, shirt and boxers, the entire process took less than a minute, including placing the discarded clothes in a neat pile.

Meeting Blair´s laughing eyes, Jim coloured slightly at his haste. Blair looked so beautiful that it took every ounce of Jim´s willpower not to just jump him on the bed, forgetting the knife play that had dominated his thoughts all day.

Instead he kneeled so he could lean over and kiss Blair´s flame-flushed skin. Just a light kiss, a whisper of a touch. Inhaling, Jim could smell a hint of sweat, a scent that made his mouth water with memories of other nights tasting Blair. Unable to resist those memories Jim ran his tongue up Blair´s spine, tasting sweat musk and the red wine they´d just had for dinner. The combination made Jim as hard as stone, love for his partner flowing through his body.

Blair shuddered at the sensation, basking at the feel of Jim tongue. Yet mingled with the atmosphere of lust in the air, Blair could sense Jim´s curiosity about the small bag that lay on the bed.  Pulling gently away from Jim, Blair gave him a reassuring look as he moved away. Smiling at the groan from his sentinel Blair slid a warm hand along Jim´s ass as he knelt up beside him, ready to move the night´s events on.

Watching as Blair moved from under him, Jim remained kneeling, mind running over what could happen in the next hours. He trusted Blair one hundred percent, but this knife play was new. Blair was right, he did know about the kinky side of life from his time in Vice, but knowing and doing were so different. He was going to grasp this chance for firsthand experience with both hands. Of course he was a little apprehensive, who wouldn't be?  He just wished that he could see what was in the bag; if Blair pulled a machete out of there he really didn't know if he could stay.

"Relax, man."

"You doing your mind reading thing again?"

"No, it just looks like Jim junior is wilting a little."

Jim cracked up at 'Jim junior', pleased that Blair'd managed to relax him again.

"You want to see what's in the bag, Jim?"

Without waiting for an answer, Blair turned over and grabbed the bag that lay at his side. Scooting up against the railings, he placed it in his lap, smiling as Jim sat up close to his side. Almost reverently he pulled a knife from its depths, the blade wrapped securely with stiff material. Jim could smell alcohol, which he guessed, was used to sterilise the blade.

He watched as Blair unwrapped the material, and was surprised to see an ordinary carbon steel bowie knife with a six-inch blade. Excellent quality but certainly not elaborate. This was no fantasy style blade. It looked like Blair was no Highlander. Looking up, he saw that Blair had stopped examining the blade and was instead watching him.

"It's not what you expected, right? I guess most people would expect an ornamental blade but this is what I like-- plain, simple, safe. You have to understand, Jim that knife play isn't about *cutting*. Of course, a lot of people do like that, and good luck to them, but there's so much else you can do. A knife isn't just a blade, it's so much more, it has so many other surfaces; you can heat it up, freeze it… but we're not going there, I don't want to chance things like that with your senses. Here, feel this. "

Jim watched as Blair brought the knife to his arm, followed by a dull scratch. The feel of steel on skin made his heart beat faster just on that one dull sensation. He was interested to note that Blair used the blunted side of the knife letting the point make a small welt on his skin.

Breath hitching a little, Jim shivered as the nerve endings in his arm reacted, sending shivers of sensation through his body. Remaining perfectly still, he looked towards Blair, drinking in the intent expression on his partners face.

“That feel ok Jim? It´s not too much for you is it? You´re calling the shots here man, tell me if it feels wrong.’

Blair stopped running the knife for a moment, leaving it resting on Jim´s arm. Looking up from the bewitching blade, Jim placed his free hand on Blair´s knee, reassuring with touch.

“I´m fine Chief, better than ok. That feels so good, and I can´t even say why. Every touch seems to be magnified by a thousand, but it doesn´t hurt at all. I´ve waited all day for this so don´t you dare stop now.’

Seeing that Jim was still relaxed, Blair urged him to lie on his front. Lying like this Jim felt open and accessible, he shivered as he heard Blair say where the first line would be drawn, followed by the feeling of the knifepoint scraping down his skin. Goosebumps broke out and tiny shivers made him clench his fists in order to stay still.

Blair was stroking the knife all over his body, first his back, then a leg, shoulder, then across his ass. Every stroke left a slightly burning-welt that seemed to shoot straight to his dick, until he squirmed uncomfortably as his rock-hard cock became trapped against the bed. Shuddering and panting for breath, Jim could hardly move when he was urged onto his back leaning against a pile of pillows that had been arranged behind him. In this position he could see everything that Blair was doing, the glint of steel as it swept against his skin, the bite of the tip as it scored and lightly marked. He could see that no actual cutting was involved, but still tiny droplets of blood seeped to the surface, gleaming in the candlelight.

Blair's expression was serene and intense; he was clearly getting as much enjoyment from marking as Jim was at being marked. It was nearly his undoing when Blair carefully swept the knife along his own thigh, making his own small welt, then gathered the pooling blood onto his fingers, bringing them to Jim's lips. He lapped at the fluid before claiming Blair for a deep kiss. He swept his tongue over Blair's lips before plunging inside, cataloguing every taste. It was too much; smell, taste, and touch all combined to throw him into an intense orgasm that swept him away without resistance.

Minutes-- maybe hours-- later, he managed to move enough to notice his partner sitting cross-legged next to him. Blair looked cool and collected, smiling serenely until he happened to notice Jim's attention.

"Hey, you're back. How do you feel?"

"Feel? I don't think that I feel anything yet. That was just incredible, Blair, thank you."

"No thank you man, for trying something new. It was so fantastic-- just look at you, you're so beautiful."

Wondering what he meant, Jim looked at his body. All down his legs, stomach and arms were faint stripes, arranged in abstract patterns. They were certainly unusual, but ‘beautiful´?

"Relax, Jim, none will show at work. I made sure of that, and they *are* beautiful. It´s a reminder of the trust between you and me. That means everything, and just think what we can do next time. We've only scratched the surface tonight; I've so much more to show and do to you."

Smiling at his lover's enthusiasm, Jim felt deeply at peace. Next time… Would there be a next time, could they go further? Yeah, he thought they would. He'd loved this trip into Blair's world. This new-found honesty between them could be a very good thing, very good indeed. In fact he had some kinks of his own.

Hauling himself upright, he pulled Blair back against his chest, dropping chaste kisses against his neck, content for the moment just to cuddle.  Yeah, he could see Blair going for that. "Hey, Chief, what do you think about bondage?

"Bondage? Something you're telling me here, man?"

"Maybe. So what do you think, something for the future?"

"I'm down with that. Next time, maybe?"

Burrowing down under the covers, Jim couldn't stop a sigh of contentment from escaping.

The loft still shone with the candlelight casting flickering shadows against every surface. His body ached a little in a good way and he had his soulmate cuddled against his chest. Life was good and he knew it. He also had a feeling that their sex life would never be the same again, and for that he was thankful. Yes, Jim Ellison was one very lucky man.

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