Grabbing hold of the last suitcase, Jim placed it in the trunk, adding to the pile already there. By careful arrangement of cases and bags he had the load tightly packed, no way that anything could move or break. In the backseat, larger items were stored, a PC in its box, a pair of tennis rackets, a set of pans -- still in their original box. But it was the item lying across them that caught Jim's attention.
Reaching out a hand he gently pulled the zip down on the dry cleaning bag, inhaling the faint scent of roses as the delicate fabric was exposed. Carolyn's wedding dress, white satin, no flounces or frills just like the woman herself. He hadn't even known that she still had it, somehow had thought that it would have been packed away months ago -- just like their marriage.
Seeing it now brought back so many memories, how happy he'd been that day. Despite having none of his own family at the wedding, he'd had friends. Jack as his best man, Simon with Joan and a young Daryl on his side of the pews. Carolyn's family had filled the other side, her sister and her husband -- was that number two or three? Parents and assorted other relatives, aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents and friends. They filled her side to overflowing, the two sides of the church so obviously unbalanced.
But Jim hadn't cared, didn't need family when he had his beautiful new wife at his side. He was creating a new family, the past unimportant when the future was so bright. They'd married on a spring day, the sun shining brilliantly as they left the church, rice being flung at them from all sides. Carolyn had never looked so stunning; eyes alight with happiness and love, as she stood hand in hand with Jim on the church steps. Jim himself had even managed to forget how uncomfortable he felt in his suit, smiling as he felt his hand gripped tightly. It was the perfect start to their married life -- but like everything so perfect, it couldn't last.
Within months arguments had been the norm. Loving glances and hand holding became anger filled glares and irritated rejections, as they pushed one another away in so many ways. Slowly they lived separate lives, living for work instead of one another. The change was so gradual that neither noticed until it was too late -- too late to repair what was broken.
After months of communicating through terse words -- no conversations at this point -- and notes on the fridge door, Jim wasn't surprised to see Carolyn's bags packed in the living room. The only surprise that he was there to see her go, somehow he'd thought she'd leave when he was at work. But that was Carolyn all over, never afraid of conflict.
In the end the leaving was an anti-climax, as Jim rung for a taxi, then helped carry her bags. He'd stood in the in street, watching as his wife prepared to leave for good, feeling sad. But the sadness was for the fact he felt nothing, no pain, no rejection, not even relief. He was alone and that was all there was too it. He could cope, had coped -- for a while anyway.
Seeing the dress brought back so many memories, good and not so good. But mostly what it reminded him of was he'd loved Carolyn once, loved her with a passion. Like many things, it took time and distance to see how things really were, and Jim wouldn't change his marriage for anything. Sure the bad times were bad, but the good times more than made up for them.
Hearing a shout from Carolyn's apartment, Jim locked the truck, hurrying to see what was left to bring. Entering the hallway, Jim listened fascinated as his footsteps echoed across the empty area. By concentrating he could distinguish the differing levels of noise as it careered from wall to wall, so different from a few months ago when sound had the potential to bring Jim to his knees. The sound waves also seemed to shift the dust mites. Sending them skittering through the shafts of sunlight coming from the uncovered windows.
It was a beautiful sight, and one that reminded Jim of how much he'd changed over the last months. From someone who was convinced was losing his mind, to someone who -- while not totally in control yet -- was certainly almost there.
Mentally pulling himself back, Jim automatically searched for Carolyn, listening until he heard her moving in the kitchen. The smell of pizza and soda drifting through the air, and Jim felt his stomach gurgle, knowing that Carolyn had the pizza, the last meal that she's eat in this house.
Pausing in the doorway, Jim was struck at how happy she looked, dividing pizza slices from the box to paper plates. She looked totally at ease, dressed in old jeans and t-shirt, sitting at the breakfast bar. Looking like that, Jim saw the woman he'd fallen in love with but Carolyn was a friend now -- nothing more. He'd miss her when she went to San Francisco, but his life had moved on, he had Blair now. Not a replacement for Carolyn, but someone who he respected and admired already.
Life was full of surprises, good and bad. It went on moving despite everything that happened. That day at the church he would never had guessed that he'd be living with a male roommate in his box room, or that he'd be a Sentinel, or that Carolyn would be leaving him to start a new life in a new city. Surprises all of them, but would he change them -- no way.