It's been wonderful. It's been real exciting years. Been. Past tense.
I can't even say when it changed. Or what. But things changed. I have the badge now. I proved myself. I'm not who I used to be. And neither is Jim.
I want to turn back the clock. Just for one day. Just one day being Blair Sandburg, anthropologist and civilian sidekick, again. Experience the outsider position again. The ease of not having responsibility. The youth.
Soon, I'll probably I find the first grey hair while looking in the mirror. Or even realize my hairline starts to resemble Jim's.
I feel old.
I wonder if I'd feel the same if my life had been different. Would it be just as hard getting out of bed in the morning if I'd become a professor? Would the youth of today tick me off the same way they do now?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Jim says I'm thinking too much. He's probably right.
But I can't help it. I can't help ponder the 'if's and 'maybe's. Somewhere deep inside, a small voice tells me that I might be happier if things had turned out differently.
But I can't change that anymore.
Another part of me tells me that even if I changed my life now, it wouldn't be the same. You cannot catch up with time. Time moves with its very own stride.
Time can be a cruel friend. Because it moves on and if you're not fast enough, it leaves you behind.
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