by Ainm



A/N: Two pairs of partners talk about each other. All dialog. This one has even more of a feeling of being a random hunk out of something else than my usual ficlets... blame it on it being hard to do a crossover in so little room, but also I was just sort of feeling contrary and hinting at all manner of things without committing. :-) (Though maybe I'm being too subtle again and no one will notice.)



“No, he isn’t.”

“I really think he is.”

“Trust me, he isn’t.”

“He is totally pinging my gaydar, I’m telling you.”

“Mulder isn’t gay, Sandburg, I’m telling you.”

“Well, how do you know?”

“Well... I asked. Sort of.”

“What?! When did you have a chance to do that?”

“Not today, Chief -- about five years ago. I was in Vice, he was a profiler, he was called in on a case I was involved with, a serial killer targeting prostitutes, and I... well, like I said, he’s not gay. Or bi.”



“Well, maybe you’d have better luck with his partner -- now she is hot.”



“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Joke about being with other people like that.”

“I’m sorry... but you know it was just a joke, right?”

“Yeah, I just... I don’t like it.”

“You’re not telling me something here, aren’t you -- why does this bother you?”

“I... Blair...”

“Come on, man, you know the rule: no hiding from these issues because they always come back and bite us in the ass eventually. Now spill.”

“Mulder will be back from the bathroom any minute...”

“Do you hear him on his way?”


“Come on, then. What’s the problem?”

“I just... I can’t stand to think of you leaving me. I couldn’t handle that, Blair, and joking about other people just isn’t funny to me. Happy?”

“Yes and no -- I’m thrilled that you were able to be honest with me, less thrilled that you still doubt me --“

“I don’t!”

“-- but let me be clear on this, you won’t have to handle me leaving because I’m not going anywhere. Neither of us will be chasing Scully, or Mulder for that matter. You understand me?”

“Yes Blair.”

“Good. So, if he’s not gay, maybe they’re together -- there’s definitely some sort of chemistry there.”

“There is, but I’m pretty sure they’re not together. Yet. Mulder’s betting we are, though.”

“Really? Tell me.”

“When they walked out together, they stopped near the bathroom before Scully headed to the morgue, and I heard them.”

“Details, man!”

“You’re so nosy.”

“You brought it up!”

“OK, so Mulder asks Scully if she thinks we’re partners in more than the obvious sense. ‘No!’ she says, and he says, ‘You wanna bet?’. She says ‘Mulder’ in a frustrated tone. ‘What, you don’t want to think that they might be “wasted” that way?’ he asks her. ‘Mulder!’ she says again, this time sounding embarrassed --“

“Oh, she likes you!”


“If she was embarrassed, she probably did think we were wasted on each other, because she found at least one of us attractive, and I’m certainly not her type, ergo she must find you attractive.”

“I’m not sure I’m buying that convoluted logic, Chief...”

“It doesn’t matter, just finish the story -- he can’t spend that much longer in the john!”

“So Mulder tells her that we seem pretty close to him. ‘Partners can be close without being that close, Mulder,’ she tells him. ‘Besides, it would be inappropriate for two partnered detectives to be engaged in a relationship of that nature, regardless of gender,’ she says.”

“They don’t really talk like normal people, do they.”

“No, they sound like textbooks, not federal agents. Anyway, Mulder points out that obviously the department has made exceptions for you already. ‘That hair,’ she says -- she’s even more uptight than I am, Chief.”

“I told you I wasn’t her type.”

“So anyway, he offers $5 on the issue, and she hesitates for a minute, then counters with $1. ‘Ah ha!’ he says. ‘You know I’m right!’ She just says ‘Mulder’ again, this time sort of long-suffering -- she’s got a lot of ways of saying his last name, I’ve noticed.”

“Gee, I’ve never run into that before.”

“Ha ha. Anyway, that’s when they went their separate ways.”

“Ah, here he is now.”

”So, are you two ready to show me the site?”

“You bet.”





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