What They Need
Warnings: BDSM mentioned
Inspired by this picture.
Jim basked in the afterglow of their lovemaking. After Blair had released him from the leather restraints and removed the spreader bar from between his knees, he'd helped him lever himself up from where he'd been kneeling, draped face first over the side of the bed. He groaned contentedly at the sensations on his well-warmed backside before quickly leaning over to lay on his side.
"How are you feeling?" Blair asked as he gently helped him under the sheets.
"Hmmmmm…" Jim's contented sigh was his only response, though an easy and relaxed smile also graced his face, eyes closed as he let Blair smooth his hands over his forehead. 'God I love you, you know?' he mumbled finally.
"Yeah, I know." Jim could hear the smile in his lover's voice, though he still kept his eyes closed. "I love you too big guy."
Jim let another happy sigh escape when Blair bent and placed a kiss on his forehead.
"How are your dials?"
Jim wasn't surprised by this question. It was one of the things he loved about Blair - it didn't matter the situation, he made sure Jim was alright, and got what he needed.
"Dials… good. Happy dials… mmmmm…" Jim murmured finally.
"How about touch?" Blair persisted. "Do you need to dial down? Where are you set now?"
"Mmmm… five." Jim smiled, enjoying the sensations he was still feeling. He didn't dare tell Blair that only a few minutes earlier, his sense of touch had been off the scale - he could literally feel the air currents moving about the room, Blair's breath on his back, Blair pulsing within him… it had been euphoric - as their special nights like this always were for him.
"That's too high!" Though Blair kept his voice quiet, Jim could hear the concern he knew that Blair was feeling for his safety.
"It's wonderful." Jim opened his eyes to give Blair and appreciative smile. "But," he added seeing the worry in those beautiful eyes. "I can bring it back to three… there. Done. It's three." He gave Blair his best 'I'm a good Sentinel' look.
Blair rolled his eyes laughing and giving Jim a playful swat on his sheet covered backside. "Shove over and let me in there. It's getting cold out here."
No sooner had Blair joined him under the sheets than Jim wrapped himself around Blair, sharing his body heat and loving kisses.
They lay together for several minutes in each other's embrace while Jim listened as both of their hearts, still in sync from their earlier lovemaking, gradually slowed to a mellow calm.
Just before Blair nodded off, while he was in that quiet state between sleep and wakefulness, Jim finally worked up the nerve to ask him something he'd long marvelled at.
"You always know…" he began.
"How do you do it?" Jim asked. "You always know the exact right moment when I need... I still don't know how you ever knew in the first place, much less know each time… or why you're even willing to…" Jim broke off, uncomfortable with his candour about their 'special sessions'. When he looked into Blair's now open eyes though, he knew he wouldn't belittle his curiosity on the subject.
"Because I love you Jim," he answered frankly, and Jim could see the honest truth of it in those eyes.
"You're willing to…" Jim motioned to the restraints and paddle still on the floor and nightstand, trying not to think too much about why he couldn't even say the words for this - what he needed, out loud. "Just because…"
"All of it, Jim." Blair reached up and once more smoothed his hand over Jim's brow. "I knew and I always know when you need it and I do it because I love you. But don't think I'm some kind of martyr sacrificing to do this for you. I need it too you know. Probably nearly as much as you do."
"Oh, my Jim." Blair chuckled at Jim's confused look. "At work you always have to be in charge of everything. You have to control every variable of your senses as well as the situation with the men and women you're in the field with… Every impossible case lands on your shoulders. Sometimes, when I can see the stress of it all getting to you I know that by relinquishing all control - here at home where no one is endangered by you losing control… Well, then you can relax and find your focus again."
Jim nodded at that. This made sense. Having to be so in control all the time would burn him out completely if he didn't have these chances to let it all go to Blair at home. But why would Blair need…?
"As for me," Blair went on, smiling mischievously at Jim's continued confusion. "At work I'm a consultant right? "Doc. Blair" as they call me. I'm pulled in every direction. Everyone wants me to share my insight, but they then also resist what I have to say… Even now, after all this time, I'm still slightly outside the group. No…" He interrupted Jim's protest. "I do have some credentials now as a consultant, but I'm still not a cop - not like you all are. Sure I carry a gun now, but still I'm not in control of much of anything I do. It's "Doc. Blair analyse this, Sandburg figure this out…" They bug me to give them the info, but then half the time they think and say it's stupid…"
Blair took a deep breath to calm down again. "So often I feel so out of control there - pulled in all directions but not belonging in any of them, which is OK, it's the nature of my job. But sometimes I need to feel… here at home where it's safe…"
"Like you're completely in control." Jim finished for him. "And still you're you because you're helping me at the same time."
"Yep." Blair smiled, nipping playfully at Jim's nose. "Now, all this talking… well, my cock isn't going to suck itself, is it?" Blair kissed him deeply before groaning appreciatively as Jim eagerly applied himself to his straining erection.
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