The Loyalty You Need
Notes: The title also comes from the lyrics. Kinda experimental use of person and tense here, blame my XF buddies for the inspiration.
"Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Deep breaths, in and out... just like that. It's going to be okay. Just let it go. No one can hurt you. Just let yourself rest and put it behind you. No one else has to know what you're feeling. Your secrets are safe. You're safe. I'm here."
That low, sweet voice moves through you, and you obey like a child, blindly, trustingly. Even when you know there are no safe places and you can always be hurt - hurt by him most of all.
Your head is on his pillow. He strokes your hair, voice seducing you into sleep, and you pretend that's all you want - sleep. You want more, though. You want him, his head beside yours, his arms around you, his promise to never let you go.
And that's the one thing you'll never get, because nothing lasts forever. Everybody leaves.
Someday, he'll leave too. Not willingly - you know him better than that, now. It's your worst fear, that you will someday be parted by death. You'll be left behind with only your memories of his voice, his scent, his touch...
Your memories are so specific, so eternally clear and present, that you know they will kill you when that day comes. You will remember him - remember this - and drown in a zone from which no one can save you.
Inside that zone, you will never be parted again.
You almost look forward to it.
Lay your head on my pillow
Here you can be yourself
No one has to know what you are feeling
No one but me and you
I won't tell your secrets
Your secrets are safe with me
Alicia Keys - Diary
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