Bird in the Hand

By ainm

"I didn't say we couldn't go, I just said that I have to re-caulk the shower first."

"It looks fine to me."

"Good -- but I can tell that it's starting to pull away a bit, and I want to catch it before we end up with water in the walls."

"Ah! A stitch in time saves nine! Right!"

"Jesus Christ, Sandburg -- what is it with you and the proverbs this week? You're making me crazy!"

"Sorry, man -- it's Judy."


"Hey, no need for that tone -- she's a new TA that just came on board with the start of the spring semester. She's some kind of mad proverb addict, tosses one out for every situation."

"And somehow you think she's a good role model?"

"No, no, it's just... kind of compelling somehow. I don't mean to, really..."

"You've got to stop, Chief."

"I'll try."

"Not good enough. Do."

"Well... maybe if I were sufficiently motivated..."


"I mean... if you really want me to stop..."

"Alright, spill -- what will it take? I clean the bathroom for a week?"

"Nah, you'll do that anyway."

"I cook for a week?"

"You'll just trick me by bringing home WonderBurger."

"A massage?"


"OK, two massages?"


"Two massages and a blow job -- final offer."


"Of course, I would have done that anyway."


"But it's no use crying over spilt milk."


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