By Calic0cat

"Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory with the lead pipe."

Blair snorted at Megan's guess and sniped half under his breath, "Nah, more like Miss Scarlet did it and framed her boyfriend, the Colonel, seeing as that *is* Jim, after all..."

He slid a card over to Megan, disproving her theory, and deliberately avoided looking in Jim's direction even when he growled an irritated, "Sandburg...". After all, it was Jim's damn fault that they were stuck in this stupid safehouse with nothing to do but play old board games they'd found on a closet shelf. If the lunkhead would actually get a clue, keep his love-life a little closer to home, and stop going all gaga over the latest bimbo with criminal tendencies to venture into his territory, they wouldn't keep ending up in these messes.

"Peacock in the kitchen with the lead pipe." As Blair slid the same card he'd just shown Megan across to Simon, Megan observed, "Y'know, Sandy's got a point there, mate. Only you could manage to *accidentally* get involved with the mistress of an international arms smuggler and have him put a hit out on you..."

Jim flushed and snapped defensively, "She asked *me* out. And it was only once!"

"Yeah, well, that was obviously one time too many," Blair groused as he rolled the dice and moved his token across the board. "I'll never be able to replace all of those artifacts *again*." He'd had a hell of a time replacing them the previous times. After Lash and after Oliver and after Alex... Jim had broken as many items with his little packing spree back then as Lash and Oliver's goons combined had accounted for. And this time - well, between the bomb and the fire crews, he'd be surprised if there was anything in a salvageable state. Hell, he was lucky that *he'd* gotten away with nothing more than a sprained ankle, bruised ribs, assorted minor cuts and bruises, and a slight case of smoke inhalation. "Hey!" he protested as Jim snatched up his token and whisked it clear across the board.

"Professor Plum in the Conservatory with the lead pipe," the detective announced smugly.

Blair firmly reined in his urge to beat *Jim* with a lead pipe and slid the card over to him instead. He had a sneaking suspicion that Jim *had* the card for Professor Plum. Every time he made a little progress in the direction he wanted to go, Jim would drag his token off to wherever *he* was. And gee, wasn't *that* a familiar feeling.

Megan's and Simon's turns passed quickly as they simply moved their tokens. Blair used the Secret Passage to move his to the Lounge. At least it got him a little closer to his goal.

"Uh, Chief? Aren't you going to make a Suggestion?"

"Nope." He was about ninety-five percent certain of his facts; no need for pointless guesses. By observation and process of elimination, he already knew that Jim had the Lounge; he didn't need to see the card to confirm it. "Your turn."

Jim gave him a suspicious look but rolled and moved twelve spaces.

Blair narrowed his eyes. Interesting how Jim always managed to roll either exactly what he needed or the maximum possible. "Dial it down, Ellison. No fair using touch to rig the dice," he sub-vocalized.

Jim's jaw developed a slight twitch.

Busted. Blair coughed to hide a smirk.

Megan dragged Colonel Mustard back to the Conservatory, this time with the candlestick. Blair showed her the Conservatory card this time. Judging by her expression, he presumed he'd just totally wrecked her theory.

Simon suggested that it was Mrs. White in the Dining Room with the candlestick and no one could disprove it. Blair smirked faintly as Simon declined to turn his Suggestion to an Accusation. That confirmed his own deductions. Simon obviously had the card for Mrs. White as well as the one for the Dining Room. He'd been shown the Dining Room one earlier and no one had been able to disprove his own guess involving the candlestick so...

Blair moved his token and stated firmly, "Miss Scarlet in the Hall with the candlestick." He raised one eyebrow and waited while the others shook their heads, unable to prove him wrong. "Told you it would be Miss Scarlet," he remarked as he reached for the envelope to confirm his theory.

A moment later, the cards revealed bore out his guess. Simon shook his head and complained, "Some detectives *you* two are."

"Hey, I've never played Clue before," Megan said defensively.

"So what's Ellison's excuse?"

Jim shrugged nonchalantly.

Blair couldn't resist sniping, "Hey, the perp's a gorgeous broad, Simon. He'd date her before he'd arrest her."

"What the hell is with you, Sandburg?" Jim exploded irritably. "Just give it a rest."

"Yeah, sure, why not. Forget it ever happened, just like always. God forbid the great Detective Ellison actually *learn* from his mistakes. Or worse yet, *talk* about them." Blair stood, shoving his chair back from the table hard enough that it toppled over backwards. It crashed to the floor as he limped away, leaving the room in stunned silence behind him. He was getting pretty damn tired of waiting for Jim to get a clue.

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