Life Goes On
Notes: Based just after TSbyBS.
This was supposed to be a nice smutty story for Castalie, instead she gets this. No wonder I don't write TS very often now when things like this happen *g*
The sun is worshiped the world over, praised for its fiery brilliance and life sustaining properties. It is also a thing of beauty, especially now as it tinges the sky with pink while setting over the ocean. The water seems to flicker with reflected fire and he could watch for hours, not that he will, he can't control nature. The sun will set and darkness will fall, but before that there's this period of brilliance that Blair intends to enjoy to the full.
He enjoys beauty in all its forms, but perhaps this kind most of all. This is raw and untamed, nature at its finest and for a moment he has to look away. As the horizon becomes nothing but blazing light and the world is coloured red. It's over in seconds, and the colour seeps away as the sun starts to disappear, ready to light the life of others, who even now may be watching it rise. It's a comforting thought, that the cycle continues and life will always go on, even though Blair thought his was over.
Eyes stinging, Blair rubs at them with the back of his hand, making his vision blur. He woke up on the couch early this morning, before the sun had risen, and here he is watching it set. He hadn't planned to leave the loft, but as soon as he woke he knew he had to, before he had to look at Jim and his mom, with their sympathetic expressions and supportive words. It had been easy to sneak out and he'd driven for hours before stopping at a small beach front café.
The owner had plied him with thick coffee that tasted almost burnt. It had scalded Blair's tongue but he drank like a parched man, accepting refill after refill until his bladder was at bursting point. Except for pleasantries he hadn't spoken a word, just sat at a rickety table in the corner, watching the waves wash on the deserted beach as he thought about things he still didn't want to admit. He left as the shadows lengthened on the ground, taking off his shoes and walking along sand that had clung to his bare feet.
He's sitting on the sand now, cross-legged and relaxed and doesn't even look up as a shadow falls across him.
"You're a hard man to find," Jim says evenly, and he slowly lowers himself to the ground.
"I knew you'd find me eventually," he shrugs, eyes still focussed on the last sliver of sun. "You track me by scent?"
"Naomi said you used to come here when you needed to think, then I asked about you at that café, he said you headed this way. No Sentinel stuff needed, just detective work."
Blair almost laughs as Jim audibly shuts his mouth, as if he wants to take back his last words. "It's okay, you can say it," turning at last, Blair looks at Jim, who's staring into the distance. "I've been thinking about your proposal, and I'm going to do it." He thought saying the words would be hard, but it's not. Instead Blair feels at peace for the first time in days as Jim stares intently at him.
"You don't have to. I'll support you any way I can," Jim replies, and Blair can tell he's sincere and the words make him feel warm inside, cracking the ice that's consumed him since the press conference.
"I know, I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me." It's a big distinction for Blair, and he hopes Jim understands. If he doesn't he'll have to make him understand, even if they have to sit on this beach all night.
The last few days have been some of the worst Blair can remember, but he knows he can't mourn his past life what he has to do is celebrate the new, and with Jim at his side he fully intends to do that.
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