No Babies Aloud

“For chrissakes, Sandburg, do something!’ Jim hissed through a jaw tight enough to make a TMJ specialist rich beyond the dreams of avarice. “She´s been crying for over half an hour. This is the last straw! I don´t think I can take much more of this. ’

“I know, but I´ve checked everything and I can´t find anything wrong. It´s not like I can ask the baby to dial it down, so you´re going to have to.’ Blair jiggled Alicia again, walking and bouncing was the only thing that seemed to halt the crying. He was rewarded with blessed minutes of relative silence as the eight-month old merely whimpered instead of the full-throated wailing of a few minutes ago.

“How you get roped into these things, I´ll never know.’ Jim groaned, sitting and rubbing his temples in an attempt to forestall his impending headache. “Our first weekend off in two weeks. This is not what I had in mind.’

“I told you, Jim, Alicia´s mother has to study for an important final. You have no idea how rough it is being a young single mom. Her grandmother usually sits the baby, but she´s ill.’

“So naturally she came and cried on your shoulder about it and here we are with a cranky teething infant all afternoon.’ Jim sighed.

“Hey, man, I thought you liked babies.’ Blair gave him a reproving look as he continued his jiggling, bouncing pace that was slowly lulling the baby to sleep, making crooning chanting noises of comfort.

“I do. I also like puppies, but that doesn´t mean I want to housebreak one.’ Jim muttered. He looked up after a bit, realizing that the silence had lasted over ten minutes now.

“Where´d you learn to do that?’ He asked quietly, watching Blair continue to jiggle, bounce and walk, singing something nonsensical under his breath about ponies.


“What you did with the kid to make her quit crying.’

“Oh, I don´t know, just felt like the right thing to do.’ Blair shrugged. “Kind of like what I do with you, I guess. I keep experimenting until something works. I guess it´s sort of an intuitive thing.’
Carefully, he placed the now sleeping infant in the portable crib her mother had brought. There was also a car seat that attached to a stroller base and two bags full of diapers, clothes, toys and blankets.

“I´ve always wondered why someone this little needs 80 pounds of equipment,’ Blair mused. “I´ve gone down the Amazon with less shit than this kid needs for one afternoon away from home.’

Jim chuckled, quietly. “Let´s hope she stays asleep longer than a few minutes this time.’

“How´s your headache?’ Blair asked stretching out his back with a satisfying pop, toeing off his sneakers and sitting lotus style next to Jim on the sofa.

“Gone now.’

“Good, because I´d hate to have to bounce you and sing you the pony song.’ Blair teased, reaching over to place a hand on one muscular thigh, squeezing lightly.

“Are you trying to imply I´m a big baby?’ Jim asked in a mock threatening tone.

“Oh, no, not at all, not at all.’ Blair intoned thoughtfully. “But, there are some definite similarities between the care and feeding of cranky infants and cranky sentinels.’

“Such as?’ Jim´s tone was tolerantly amused. He folded his arms and put his head to one side.

“Well, you have be careful what you feed them, and what you wash them with, and how you handle them. Requires a firm, but gentle touch. I´ll demonstrate.’

“Just for academic purposes.’ Jim added.

“Oh, right, purely academic.’ Blair nodded as he slid his hand up and began to trace a random pattern on Jim´s skin beneath his shirt.

“What about feeding?’ Jim asked, sighing at the touch and uncrossing his arms to allow more access.

“Oh, that requires direct mouth to mouth contact.’

“Sounds interesting.’

“Oh, it is. One has to have a lot of practice to do it properly, but it´s a very effective maneuver. Shall I demonstrate?’

“Oh, please, I mean, sure, in the interests of science and all.’ Jim said, his voice dropping an octave, and leaning over.

“I love it when you beg, you big baby.’ Blair leaned over and gave the mouth presented to him a promising lick before he engulfed it in a searching kiss.

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